Tying Up The Loose Ends


Tying up the loose ends.

I’ve been open to you all about my celibacy and my struggle with it. It has really showed me a lot of things about myself that run deeper than just sex. It has shown me that our flesh will do everything it can do to put us in positions that can cause us to sin. By the grace of God I am still celibate going on two years and have not slipped. I say by God’s grace because truth be told; I tried to mess up. Here is my story about my attempt, my thinking and my realization. You may not struggle with sex but you can still relate to my story.

Last summer I met a wonderful woman of God. From the day we met we clicked and I knew I wanted to be with her. In the beginning, she had reserves about getting into a relationship due to her last one and she was trying to focus on her service to God. She thought that getting into a relationship would hinder her relationship with Him.

I wasn’t trying to hear any of that. I continued to pursue her and slowly but surely she was giving in. We had a talk where she explained her feelings towards me and let me know she wanted to take it slow. As I saw us building I knew our relationship would become official soon. This is where my dilemma started.

She’s a virgin and is strict about not having sex until she is married. My strategy to living without sex was; taking it one day at a time but now I know if I’m in this relationship with her; I really am not going to have sex until I’m married. So know I’m thinking, “ok before we make this official, I need to have sex one more time; since she would be the only woman I ever have sex with again.” Since this would be my last, I had to go out with a bang.

One thing I struggle with till this day (I’m getting better) is flirting. So one day I’m on twitter flirting with a woman who I’ve been flirting with prior to and during my celibacy. I would flirt via social media and sometimes I would text her. This day in particular she begins to tweet another woman and they’re talking about a threesome. Welp; my eyes lit up. I immediately joined in the conversation, followed the other woman and got her phone number. This was my chance. My last hoorah before this relationship is official. I started a group text with the women and set up a date. The date came and I didn’t call either of them. A couple days later I began to text them again. I never set up another date but I continued texting them; GM Boo, Hey baby etc. This is where I realized my true problem.

Even though I didn’t go through with it, I wanted to have the option to. I really can’t say if I was ever going to do it or not but I wanted to keep them at arm’s reach. I didn’t want them to forget about me, I wanted to stay fresh in their mind so the one day I might be serious; they would still be down.

This is when I realized I needed to tie up my loose ends. No, I wasn’t sinning by having sex but I was sinning by purposely leaving the door open to have sex. I saw that these texts were just as bad as actually having the threesome. As long as I left that door open, my fall from God’s grace was inevitable. If I continued to do what I was doing, God would move His hand off me and let me be consumed by what I was chasing after; as it is spoke of in Rom 1:21-32. The way I had to tie up my loose ends was, to stop texting because if I didn’t; they would lead me the wrong way.

How does this relate to everyone?

We all have some sort of issue we struggle with. You know your issue. Now think about what doors you may leave open in order for you to live it out. Whether it’s a guy/girl you know is not good for you that you continue to allow in your life. Or it can be you trying to give your life fully to God but still entertain worldly things just in case you want to go out and have fun. I can’t call out everything but individually you all know the little thing that seems to be “not so bad” that you’re holding onto because you want to do the bad thing. That is the thing you have to let go.  It is only a matter of time that you walk through the door that you continuously open. If you are going to fully live for God, you have to tie up those loose ends.

by Minister Mitchell Chance @DrMitch_DSM


Posted on February 6, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. This is such a great post !!!! Awesome story & application for anybody !!!! Love it !!!

  2. Yes man of God! This is awesome I love the transparency and how you kept it real because we’ve all done it been there and some actually went through with it (including myself) so hey, to God be the glory. You stuck to your convictions and He’s dealing with the other details. But your story will shed light on others. Awesome awesome !

  3. I admire your honesty and transparency. Those are qualities of a great leader. It just makes me think of how many people can be free if they are just open about where they are so that God can work through them. Good post.

  4. are you still with that girl? And do you consider what you did cheating because I believe you cheated and I feel really sad for the girl. I hope you confessed all of this to her

  5. Yes I am with the woman now but I don’t consider it cheating because in order to cheat you have to be in a relationship. At the time this happened I was single.

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