Think it. Speak it. Access it. Use it. Be it.



Think it. Speak it. Access it. Use it. Be it.

It gets so annoying when you see everyone around you so happy and joyful and you can’t even bring yourself to feel a quarter of what they’re feeling. Everyone tells you it’s all in your mind, blah, blah, blah. They can tell you how great they feel and how great you could also feel, but no one wants to talk about when they weren’t feeling so great.
As humans we all just want to be accepted and understood; we shed light on all the positive things and try to hide the negatives that we think will cause us to be rejected. We go along presenting as if everything is fine. We don’t want to be judged, or seen in a negative light. We want approval, validation, and simply want to feel like someone understands.
I keep saying “We” but I’m speaking about myself first.
Over the past couple weeks I have been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bogged down. I did not feel inspired to write (clearly, since you haven’t seen a post from me). I was not feeling very social. I cried, a lot, with no clear reason why. I was constantly asking God for clarity & understanding; I just wanted to feel better.
I saw everyone around me feeling and being happy and it seemed so effortless. I just wanted to grasp that feeling. I never lost hope, I was still grateful, and I still found joy in things; yet I still didn’t feel like myself. Talking to God, my mom, my friend, were the primary things that were holding me together. But I knew that there was a missing component that I had yet to grasp.
Being in a place like this is so hard, especially when you’re used to feeling the exact opposite way. I can’t really explain it but it seemed as if all of a sudden it all went away (that all of a sudden I attribute to God). I stopped searching for that thing, and just started using/being that thing. I had forgotten that what I was looking for, I already possessed; I just had to use it. God withholds NOTHING from us, He gives us everything we want and ask for; we just have to realize that we have it and we have to use it.
Being transparent is not an easy task. It’s so easy for us to talk about the outcome of a situation, and the positive feelings that we have now; but when it comes to speaking about our negative feelings we get choked up. I’m learning to be more transparent on different levels. And also learning to accept myself despite the doubts and negative feelings I sometimes experience. Acceptance, validation, and understanding come from within first.
We can’t expect others to do things that we don’t even do ourselves. Access the power within.

by Edie King, BA




Posted on February 25, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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